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Life Through Rose-Tinted Glasses

Thursday, February 2, 2017

Disclaimer: This is going to be lengthy, but maybe one of the most special posts I've written. I'm conquering one of my biggest fears by writing this. I'm going to be talking about a man who I fell in love with in a way I never thought I would. I have posted many relationship posts since my blog was up and running, but never in the way I am writing this one. 

In my last post, I wrote about a new job I'd gotten over that summer. The job was nothing out of the ordinary. It was definitely what I needed to get myself back on my feet and that's originally what it was supposed to be about. . . . just work. But it became more than that with time. I just didn't know it until September. I met Kyle on July 6th, when I stopped in the store one night to pick up boxes with a friend. The friend I came with knew him already, so the meeting was a little bit planned. We made small talk while he worked and shortly after, I left. 

Then came September, a month after I started my job, and I remembered meeting Kyle a few months before. I mentioned it to him one night during our shift and that's when we began talking more excessively. On October 3, I discreetly found a way to get his number (without asking for it) and that's the day that changed us for the better. With time, we learned things about each other and starting getting closer.

On October 5, he had asked me out to a movie and I declined. On October 10th, Kyle admitted that he had feelings for me.  I had already sensed his feelings because I could see it in his eyes, in his expressions, and the way he carried himself. I panicked, because I felt like it was happening really fast and didn't want to mix work with personal. I thought it would ruin our work relationship and our friendship. So, I told him I just wanted to be friends. However, it became inevitable. The connection I had with him was undeniable. We stayed friends and kept talking, all the while, things were progressing fast.

On October 25, 2016, I texted him telling him I needed to talk to him. He left me hanging unintentionally for two hours, due to helping our boss with a ride to the airport. He then texted me back when he got home, asking what was going on. So, I told him that I had feelings for him and wanted to give dating a shot. Two and a half weeks later, we went on our first date on November 12, 2016. I will always remember it, because I showed up late to the movie and the date lasted 16 hours. We went and saw a horror film, then went out for coffee, ate our weight at IHOP, and ended up talking for the rest of the date. It was one of the most fun dates I'd ever been on. I began to see the relationship through rose-tinted glasses, which basically means I started to fall in love with him. It was fast. I've been in love before, but never felt it like this. I felt so much joy, not just happiness. 

We have been together for those couple months and they have made me grow tremendously. The road we took to get to this place was not at all easy. There were several bumps in the road. Since past relationships for the both of us were trainwrecks, we decided that we wanted to go slow, get to know each other, and communicate. We didn't want to just talk, we wanted to work through our problems if we came across any. We both believed that important parts of a relationship include trust, honesty, love, and communication. We have fought. We have cried together. We have laughed together. We have spent countless hours together. We have invested time in each other and I wouldn't change it. He has become my best friend. He has helped me become the person I want to be. He has shown me that I don't need makeup to be confident. He has shown me that through our disagreements, we can find common ground. He has shown me what a true gentleman looks like. He has shown me what true love is. He has shown me what compassion looks like. He has taught me how to stand up for myself. He has acted on his word. He has shown me what it takes to put someone first. He has shown me what a hard worker looks like and helps me strive to do the same. I am beyond blessed to have him in my life and I don't know what my life would look like if July 6th hadn't ever happened. 

Hope you enjoyed reading and thanks for letting me share with you!! 


XOXO

Update Post

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

2016 was one of the craziest, hardest years I've lived through. It wasn't just a hard year for relationships, family, and heartbreak. It was also my year of a dry spell with work. I wasn't making it in the restaurant business, due to the skillset I didn't have that was required and the many hours I was promised yet not given. I had several minimum wage jobs to make up for the hours I was needing to pay for all my bills. Working the number of jobs I was working were exhausting; emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. After getting fired from my last two jobs within the same week, I broke down. But, I did not give up. My dad suggested a few places for me to apply to. So I was searching high and low for a full time job at a local department store. I chose to apply for a 3rd shift position. One week later, I got the job! It was definitely what I needed to get on my feet again.

Fast forward to today and I am still happily working for this company! Truth time: third shift is one of the hardest shifts I've ever worked in my life. Becoming a day sleeper and night worker was very difficult. You drink coffee for 8 hours straight to stay awake and be alert when you normally drink it during the day. You do not get your weekends, people look at you strange when you tell them you're working 3rd shift, and when you are eating dinner at normal breakfast time. 
I have been through so much during these months. I have gained some friends and lost some. I have cried a lot of tears and laughed just as much. I have learned so much at my job and I've made some mistakes along the way, but there has definitely been some improvement! I even met my current boyfriend through work, but he comes later in another post. 

In the next year or so, I am planning to move closer to the south and keep my current work position when I do. I have lived in Michigan for 13 years, which is most of my lifetime and where my family is, but the south is where I feel my heart is leading me. I have talked about moving down south for a couple of years and I would like to finally make it a reality. I'm saving up my pennies for this move, because it's going to be a big one. I am beyond scared of change like that, but I'm also excited for a new beginning.

One thing I want to improve in 2017 is to expect a change of plans. I am trying to get better at planning events in the present day and for the future, but there are always speed bumps that stand in the way. Things happen all the time, unexpected and expected. That's why I try to live my life to the fullest every single day. I definitely tried to grow up too fast, so now I want to slow down and really try to pause daily and focus on one day at a time.


This was my update post! I hope you enjoyed reading on my update for the last year and I plan to do more update posts so I don't write a novel with the next one. Hope you enjoyed reading and thanks for stopping by! 



XOXO

New Year's Resolutions for 2017

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

For the last 10 years, my dad and I spent a lot of time talking about goals, ambitions, and resolutions for the coming year. It was like pulling teeth to get me to sit down and write them out because I didn't see the point of it. However, this year, I feel like I really see the point of setting goals. I feel like I've accomplished something that way. I like to look 10 years ahead and think that I have accomplished something during my 20's. The other day when I sat down, I thought, "What do I want the year 2017 to look like?" Here is the list I came up with:

  • Blogging more consistently. Writing is my biggest passion in life. I know that that is one of my strengths, if my only one. I've known that since I was young. I am able to express myself better on paper or on my blog than I am when I talk in person. When I write, I speak from the bottom of my heart. I don't take words lightly. What you say and how you say them to me means a great deal. Words are the closest way to get to my heart. My goal is to write weekly, if not daily. 

  • Get more organized. In the past, I have relied on my own brain to remember things. Well, I am human, so I forget things. I know that I will forget things in the future, but I would like to prevent it better. The way to do that is to make better use of my resources such as phone timers, calendar, reminder, planners, etc. There is nothing like crossing things off of a To-Do list! Another way I'd like to get organized is to keep my living space tidy. I have a tendency to come home after my night shift and sleep until I have to wake up for my next shift. While I love my sleep, I feel no sense of accomplishment sleeping for hours on end. So this year I want to keep my place looking tidy and neat.

  • Save money. As much as I don't want to admit it, I love to spend money. I like to have things and it is instant gratification. I don't like to wait for things that I really "want" and that has put me into trouble when it comes to money. This year, I would like to change that. I want to be a better steward of the riches I have been given.  I plan to put money away in my savings account and build that up for more important things, including retirement. I want to "live like no one else so I can live like no one else," --Dave Ramsey. While it is nice to have money, I will only count it as a blessing. It can be taken away as fast as it given. 

  • Bettering myself. I have a list of allergies that I never take into consideration when I sit down to eat. I know in the back of my mind that I shouldn't eat those things because they make me sick or I just forget (yes, I forget a lot) to look at the labels. But this year, I am planning on making good use of my crockpot, preparing and cooking homemade meals, and trying to eat in moderation. I have always been guilty of saying that I'm going to eat right and work out, but it never happens. I want to keep my word on that, because eating right is so important and nourishing your body in the right way. There's nothing wrong with eating out some of the time, but it should not be an every day, every week kind of thing. So this year I want to make it a point to eat mostly at home and try to hit the healthier items on the menu when I do go out.

  • Read more books. I used to read a lot when I was younger, but I let that one slip. After watching Gilmore Girls over again last year, I realized that books are an entirely different world. (I made it a point to mention Gilmore Girls cause I love that show and it makes me start reading again) Reading not only expands your vocabulary, but it also helps you paint a picture in your own mind about what the story is telling you. That's what I've always done when I've read, but I haven't been able to find a book lately that has left me hooked. I'm definitely on the lookout, though. This year is about finding my love for books again. 

  • Taking more pictures. I have always had a passion for picture taking. I have taken silly ones, serious ones, and also some vacay pics over the years. Sometimes when I go back to my parents house, I will pull out all the old photo albums from my baby days, younger days, and not so younger days, and reminisce about how far I've come. That's why I love taking pictures. I love looking at all the memories that encompass my entire life. It tells a story about who I was, who I am now, and someday who I will be. I know in 20 years, at 40 years old, I will appreciate all of the photos I take now. So I plan to take more this year and post them.

  • Worrying less about things I can't control. I am a bit of a worrier. I let things get to me when there is nothing that can be done about it. For instance, my parent's house burned on the first day of this year. When I got the call, I was shocked and upset to say the least (still am). I went to work and it was all I could think about. I couldn't let it go, I couldn't stay focused and that night at work was one of the most distracting shifts I'd ever worked. But I can't add a single hour to my life for all that worrying, as it says in the Bible. So, I want to just slow down this year. Take deep breaths and take it all in. 

That was my 2017 New Year's Resolution list! I'm hoping that I stick to these as best I can and I'm hoping to write more this year, period. Happy New Year and Happy Reading :)


Ramblings of a 20-year-old

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Writing used to come so easily for me back then. By back then, I mean high school. I used to write constantly. I always had something in my life that I wanted to write about. It's harder for me to write these days. My life is different now. I mostly just sit at my computer and stare at the blank page. The cursor is blinking and waiting for me to type something out. “Ugh,” I think. When you think you have inspiration inside that little brain of yours and the minute you sit down, everything goes blank. That’s me today. That’s been me for a year. I know it’s partly from it being an intense and crazy year. There’s almost too much I could write about, but none of it makes sense to actually put into words. A play? A book? A script? I want to try my hand at all of those things. For now, I'll settle for the blog. 

The topic of this post is just the ramblings of a 20 year old girl who's hopped up on little sleep, a gallon of coffee pulsing through my veins, and the endless hours of music through my earbuds. This is my own perfect little world and I love it. I currently really love my life. Flashback to a year and four months ago.... I hated my life. A "tragedy" struck me like lightning. I lost my first love. It has taken me an unbelievable amount of time to get over it and become friends with him once again. Some people might call me an idiot for doing so. But I always wanted to be friends with him again, whether or not he had a girlfriend. I just always wanted to be on good terms. He was my best friend....and boyfriend for a season. We had a good run and it's been time to move on. So I am finally there. Besides, I couldn't be happier for him. He seems to really be happy and that's good. That's what I always wanted. Plus, I'm happy, too. I've never been happier being single. I can make plans for what I want to do with my life. I spent 18 years of my life wanting to be older and get married, but that ship has sailed. I don't really want to touch marriage or kids with a ten foot pole. 

My biggest goal for my 20's, since I actually have about 9 more of those, is to take a U.S. road trip and someday, make it all the way to Europe. I have always wanted to go there since I saw "The Lizzie McGuire Movie"at 7 years old. I'm a girl who loves to actually travel, contrary to popular belief. One summer my family went to Disney World. I complained for the entire week about the walking and being in the sun. Granted, that was 8 years ago. I'm different now. At least, I'm pretty sure I'm different. I'm used to being on my feet for long periods of time now because of work, thank the Lord in heaven above, and what better way to spend your time than looking up at all the beautiful scenery that is in Europe? The only things I've seen are pictures... but pictures never do that place justice. 

I've always wanted to have a sense of adventure, since that is directly out of my comfort zone. But instead I spent most of my summer this year inside, in the air conditioning, instead of being outside in the 90 degree weather. Every single summer that passes makes me think about the year before and what I didn't do. I always change it for the next year, but I end up doing the same old thing. I even toyed with the idea of moving out of state, of course, staying with the company I currently work for. That is a sense of adventure I'd like to grab hold of. I know a lot of people that would shut this idea down almost immediately, but a girl can dream, right? Right.




Heaven Gained An Angel

Friday, August 5, 2016

The woman in the picture was my beautiful mother, Florence Ann Hale. She was born to Thomas Hale and Margaret Bauer (Hale) on January 9, 1958. She was the oldest of three girls. She was loved and adored by everyone. She was a violist in the symphony orchestra in Alabama. She was a teacher, writer, violist, wife, mother, and friend. On August 6, 1997, 19 years ago today, she died from a rare cancer called choriocarcinoma. If you don't know what that is, I've explained it down below and there's more to it at this link---->https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/001496.htm.

In simple words, choriocarcinoma is a cancer that resides in the placenta and it grows as the baby grows. It spreads like wildfire to many and/or all organs. The doctors told my father back then that in most cases, the baby dies and the mother lives. Can't recall the percentages at the moment. But this was a God-given case, because three weeks after my sister was born, she passed away. 

It was God's plan to take her off this earth, even with a year and a half year old, barely month old newborn, and a husband who loved her so much. However, she's no longer in pain. So, I suppose you could call that a blessing in disguise. It definitely wasn't something that my dad or anyone else in the family would have ever planned for ourselves, but there was obviously a reason for it. We just didn't know it until about 7 years later when my dad met a woman who lived in Michigan. She changed my life forever, let me tell you.

I would never say that I'm happy my mother died, but there was obviously a plan orchestrated from her death... And for that, I'm thankful. If my mom wouldn't have died, Lindsey might not be here right now. I would've lost out on an incredible sister who never fails to love me and support me, even when I am the biggest screw up ever. She is my best friend, my sister, my partner in crime, my support system. Without my mother's death, I would've missed out on an incredible woman who taught me everything she knows about womanhood, maturity, adult life, etc. 

It's been 19 years and don't want to let her go. She has left a huge impact on my heart. I may not be anything like her or look anything like her, but from what others have told me, I was born from someone who was very deeply loved by so many people. And that.... is a gift in and of itself.

Punching Fear In The Face

If anyone knows me at all, they know that I love to sing and write. But they also know that I hate sharing those things with people. I don't like people to hear me sing or read my writing, because I'm not ready for the criticism. Constructive or not. I'm not ready for someone to tell me what I need to fix. It's a selfish thing, don't get me wrong. But I just like things the way they are. Now I'm trying to use it as a way to get better! If I don't know what I need to fix, how will I ever get better?! 

I had a friend tell me this week that I worry too much about other people's opinions and that I let fear take over my life. It's the absolute truth. I'm always afraid that I'll look stupid, sound stupid, or mess up in front of people. I was also reminded that I'm not the only person who has the same fears... but you overcome them when you keep going at it and don't give up when things get hard.

With writing and singing, there is always going to be room for improvement. You can make your voice better and stronger by singing higher and practicing ALL.THE.TIME. You can make your writing better if you persist. I have come to realize I can't get to the top without starting at the bottom. I have to crawl before I walk. Or as my father says, "You have to put the cart before the horse." Thanks, dad.

I'm beginning to find the place where I can share my work again. I'm going to punch fear in the face and allow others in, even if I have to swallow my pride. What's the point of having a blog if you don't want other people to read it, and really understand who you are, and how you're feeling? It's a lot easier said than done, but that's something I'm going to be working on. My first baby step is to share this and I'll go from there. 

:)


Top 10 Random Facts About Me

Thursday, August 4, 2016

I think most bloggers write a "Top 10 Facts About Me" post and I decided to do that today. A lot of people don't know some of the little things about me. If you're reading this and you do know, you're probably nodding your head in agreement with every single fact. Starting with #10:

10. My guilty pleasure TV shows are: That 70s Show, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Gilmore Girls, Pretty Little Liars, Young & Hungry, How I Met Your Mother, The Office, Friends . . . But not particularly in this order. 

9. Ralph Waldo Emerson, R.M. Drake, and F. Scott Fitzgerald are hands down my favorite writers. Everything they write is so profound and honestly speak inside my soul. 

8. I love coffee. Any and all kinds. I'm made up of about 95% coffee. If you don't believe me, watch a coffee pot like a hawk. I'll down that thing in a whole day. On my own.

7. Buffalo wings are my go-to food. I seriously ate them on a date once. Not my brightest idea, but that's how much I love them. Like, you honestly have no idea.

6. I'm deathly afraid of sharks. They scare the heebie jeebies out of me. 

5. Music, singing, and writing are all my passions rolled into one. Collaborating with my sister; her music, my words... is going to be a thing at some point. We'll be the famous Skidmore Sisters that everyone talks about.

4. If there's one piece of makeup that I couldn't live without, it'd be mascara. Lashes have gotta be long and luscious. 

3. Europe is the top place to visit on my bucket list. I can't get over how beautiful it is, just from pictures I've seen. 

2. I am a night owl and an early riser. Don't ask me how I do it, cause honestly, I don't even know.

1. My biological mother died when I was 15 months old. I got a new mom when I was 7 years old and I don't know what I'd do without her. I love her to death. She's amazing.

Well, those are 10 facts about me. I hope you learned a little bit more about me and maybe in the future I'll do another 10 facts!